Hair

Why are we so obsessed with our hair?

It can be a stepping stone to become older when you learn to shave.

It can show that you are well minded enough to groom yourself and take care of yourself.

It may determine what socioeconomic class you are in.

Sometimes it defines our self-esteem.

It keeps us warm? ... nah.

It describes our mood.

Or our personality ... and Portland has some personality!

So many things, status symbols, privilege ... ways to differ ourselves from others, to make us individuals (at least in our culture).

As much as I like to tease someone about being bald, I'm actually pretty excited about it so I don't have to worry about such things. Granted I could just buzz my head all the time, but I just can't quite do it yet.

Tonight I'm kinda missing my beard.

Graduate School

I have really enjoyed grad school thus far. Yet, the longing to be out doing good lingers.

Then of course, I must constantly ask myself, what is good? How can we know that our actions are going to lead to good, they may have a terrible effect. Pondering what will happen seems interesting, but ultimately simply an acknowledgment that we are not the controllers of all things and that there are always possible consequences to the best of actions.

The way I rest my head at night is by believing a couple of ideas. One that I personally do not have the power to change the entire system to being perfect. This allows me to approach every situation and more importantly every person as the most important "system" and hope to have a "good" impact on an individual. I also rest my hat on trying to be aware of my motivations and intentions and hope that they are moved mostly by good intentions regardless of the outcome.

For example, upon deciding to mentor four high-schoolers this year I wondered if my 15 meetings with them would yield positive/good results. The possible consequence being that these (possibly at-risk kids) would yet again have a figure (and male figure at that) come into their lives and then leave after a certain amount of time. I eventually decided that while not perfect the time frame was sufficient to create a meaningful relationship and explain how to model this relationship with others and look for other mentors that will help them grow along their journey. So, now at the end I'm left wondering what the total effect will be and hope that good intentions are enough to allow a healing and good relationship that occurs for a time to outnumber the possible negative consequences.

Hmm. Well I guess there it is for today ... I was definitely planning on writing about grad school.