Blogging Lately

I guess the title assumes that I have actually been blogging regularly, which is not really the case. But recently I have felt like I have been writing solely to myself, in a secluded place on a all-but-secluded internet. I have actually really enjoyed it. Perhaps there is still someone reading out there and that would be ok too, it must be with this type of medium. It's just so nice to write without expectations, to write without filters, to write without worrying about judgment.

On one hand I have always wanted to be "all things to all people" probably because of my people pleasing nature. On the other hand, I know I have an identity that is counter cultural in a lot of ways and probably demands that I stand up for those values and beliefs. It's so much more difficult in a post-modern world, which means it's most likely all the more important to keep an identity.

The idea is certainly alive in Portland where you can be whatever you want to be and let me do the same type of thing. In many ways I like it because it lumps us all into one boat, just weird people with out quirks. Yet, the Christian identity pulls me away to be all things, to be accepting and open, but at the same time be an alien in the world.

And what good news I have about the risen Lord of the world. Yet, I'm not suppose to impose my ideas and my truth on others, but keep it to myself. The way I try to get around all this is to simply live like Jesus and let that be my testimony of values. I wonder if that is enough though, is my life a loud enough proclamation. Obviously it is not simple to live like Jesus all the time and perhaps other times I try and hide my light under a bowl.

I think I, like many, am just tired to words and respect constant courageous actions. However, words can be rousing and a story can connect us in powerful ways.

At the end of the day, I have just enjoyed wrestling with so many ideas ... trying to find the balance and wondering if balance is always the best thing. I always enjoy wrestling in thought with others, but it is also nice to be able to have a little corner to myself.